To this day, I will always recognize I will never be good at letting go. And though I’ll never be good at it, at least I can work on being accepting of it. This is one of many attempts.
Letting go of relationships, friendships or even business acquaintances is always hard for me. It’s always hard for me especially when I don’t feel fully ready to let go. Sometimes parting ways happens abruptly and what seems like very sudden to me can often times seem like it was a long time coming to others. I am a very emotional person and in hopes to let others know that they are not alone in feeling shitty when letting a relationship go, I will write my thoughts on it for you all to read:
When the breaking of a relationship happens organically and effortlessly it’s easy to take for granted the calmness and easiness of the situation. When it happens abruptly and by surprise on the other hand, more often than not we’re not prepared to receive such a shock to our system. Letting go is never easy or a breeze, especially when whatever relationship you’re currently thinking about was an important one to you.
I believe that life, the Universe, God or whatever higher power you like to confide in, always has its best intentions for us. What can seem like an unfair and painful disadvantage at first can and will most likely always have a positive outcome. It’s really hard at times, and sometimes even impossible to understand why some things might be happening and why certain people need to walk out of our lives. These people who were there through hard times, who helped you evolve, change, support you through painful times becoming pillars to your emotional well being suddenly leaving can make you feel like it’s making your emotional fort come crashing down. It is 100% ok and even necessary to rely on people. People need people to not only thrive but also to survive. But just as it’s necessary to have the love and support of others, it is crucial to your own emotional well being to understand that nobody is responsible for your emotional health other than yourself. People are not responsible for making you happy. The people in your life, even the closest ones, are allowed to walk away.
Understanding that people are allowed to leave you might be one of the toughest pills I am still learning to swallow. But, when I switch the roles and see the relationships I’ve left in the past in search of some peace of mind, it is a little easier to handle. People walking out of your life and ending relationships with you does not make you a bad person. It simply lets you know that there is no place for you in this particular person’s life at the moment. Knowing the motives behind someone walking away can help with closure and fasten the healing process but unfortunately we don’t always get the answers to the questions left behind. Sometimes all we get is a simple good-bye and all of our emotions in broken pieces left to be picked up by us and us only.
Letting go is not always easy and most of the times it never seems fair. Realizing that it is ultimately your choice how you handle the situation is the key to healing. The question isn’t why is this person leaving me? Or why is this person deciding to end our relationship. The question you need to ask yourself in order to heal is: What will I do now that I am no longer a part of this person? How will I make myself better coming out of this?
The way you answer that will determine how you heal from this and all other hardships to come. Letting go is never easy or even fair but understanding that it is your job to take care of your emotional health is the beginning to healing the broken pieces left behind. People need people, but sometimes it’s important to solidify who you are and mend your own broken heart.
Wishing you love, acceptance and healing,
Thank you for being here.
Stacey “Luchona” D.